Gud sa till åsnan:

Gud sa till åsnan:
- 'Du är en åsna. Du skall slita och släpa dagen lång och bli kallad dum
i huvudet. Du kommer att leva i 20 år.'

Åsnan svarade:
- 'Usch då, det låter inte som något bra liv. Kan vi inte säga att jag
bara skall bli 5 år gammal?'

Gud accepterade åsnans förslag.


Sen skapade Gud hunden.

Gud sa:
- 'Du skall kallas hund, leva ett liv i underkastelse, äta rester från
middagsbordet och vakta huset. Du skall leva i 35 år.'

Hunden sa:
- 'Ojdå, det blir kanske inte så roligt. Kan jag inte få bli bara 15 år
istället?'

Gud accepterade hundens förslag.


Därefter skapade Gud papegojan.

Gud sa:
- 'Du kallas papegoja. Du kommer att sitta i ett hörn och upprepa allt
som sägs, till stor irritation för alla. Du blir 75 år gammal.'

Papegojan undrade:
- 'Det låter väldigt enformigt… Kan vi inte säga bara 50 år?'

Gud accepterade papegojans förslag.


Till slut skapade Gud mannen.

Gud sa:
- 'Du är en människa, en man! Du skall ha ett bra liv. Du är klok och
intelligent, så du kommer att bestämma här i världen. Du skall bli 20 år.'

Mannen svarade:
- 'Det låter som ett riktigt bra liv, men kan det inte vara lite längre?'
(Nu visar mannen för första gången ett prov på sin intelligens...)
- 'Kan jag inte få de där 15 åren som åsnan inte ville ha, de 20 som
hunden tackade nej till, samt de 25 som blev över från papegojan också?'

Gud accepterade mannens förslag.



Därför lever mannen ett härligt liv tills han blir 20 år. Sen gifter han
sig, för att slita och släpa i 15 år och bli kallad dum i huvudet.
Sedan får han helt underkasta sig den övriga familjens behov, leva på
rester från bordet och vakta huset i 20 år. De sista 25 åren av sitt liv
sitter han i ett hörn och upprepar allt som folk säger, till stor
irritation för alla i sin omgivning…

pisten bully 300w

Harakiri

Harakiri Mayrhofen

IT/ICT Management, CIO Coaching, Rådgivning

IT/ICT Management, CIO Coaching, Rådgivning

L00nybin - BFBC2 Stats

L00nybin - BFBC2 Stats

How to use the Vuvuzela

How to tell the difference between different kinds o Metal

Come on England

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9o5MkRLawU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_Mw1Gfku7I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEb0X9NEX0I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd74Vx2u1R0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyrxoBs8epg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbWOSNbcPCI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz5nFNjEZZM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CcU085tGwE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GO6Ab8iXFtM

The drink of this summer 2010

I think this will be the drink for me this summer. Cool refreshing with a twist.
TwistedSummer I think I'll call it
half a lime
2cl of blueberry vodka
Ice
and half a teaspoon of sugar.
Shake long and well.
serve and enjoy :-)

Scariest path ever ?

Math

101 More Great Computer Quotes

101 More Great Computer Quotes

Posted using ShareThis

That's true

Britain: WTF Iceland?! Why did you send us volcanic ash ? Our airspace has shut down.
Iceland: What ? It's what you asked for isn't it ?
Britain: NO! Cash! Cash you dyslexic fuck. CASH!
Iceland:There is no C in our alphabet, sorry!

I has made a castle

St: Patricks day..

Only the Irish have Jokes Like These

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just
been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised
and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
" That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that
to you, he must have had something in his hand."
" That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and
a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
" Well," says Sean, "you should have defended
yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
" That I did," said Paddy.
"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty
it was, but useless in a fight."
**********************************************************************************************************
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving
home from the city one night and,
of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over.
" So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
" Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite
a few to drink this evening."
" I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"D id you know," says the cop, standing straight and
folding his arms across his chest,
that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."


***********************************************************************************************************

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've
somethin' to tell ya".
" Of course you can come in, you're always welcome,
Tim. But where's my husband?"
" That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
" I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead
and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim.. "How did it happen, Tim?"
" It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat Of
Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me the truth,
Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."

************************************************************************************************************

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O' Grady after his Sunday
morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, " So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news . My
husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary,
did he have any last requests?"
S he says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'


*********************************************************************************************************


AND THE BEST FOR L AST

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters
a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention
but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall .
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's
no paper on this side either!"